Performative activism is declining, and businesses are slowly starting to ditch the rainbow flags and statements that only appear during Pride month. Instead, inclusive organisations are focusing on creating real change for LGBTQ+ members of the workforce. 

However, there’s still a long way to go regarding employers recognising that paths to parenthood are different for LGBTQ+ members. With this in mind, Fertility Matters At Work spoke to three of its partners to shed light on family-building challenges in the workplace and what workplaces can do to become truly inclusive. 

Laura-Rose Thorogood, founder of LGBT mummies and Proud Foundations, shared her thoughts with Fertility Matters At Work: “In the workplace, many don’t have the framework or policies to support LGBTQ+ families starting their journey, the language isn’t inclusive, attending appointments if they’re the non-gestational carrier isn’t supported, and even having to administer injections or medication at work can be an issue.” 

Michael Johnson-Ellis, co-founder and co-CEO of TwoDadsUK® and My Surrogacy Journey®, adds: “Privacy is also a prevalent issue to family building in the workplace for members of the LGBTQ+ community. This is especially true if you’re not out yet, as explaining your family-building decision to strangers can be triggering. 

Being a gay parent, most of us comment that there is the ‘second outing’. For example, we always have to explain to others where our child’s Mum or Dad is. Also, as a gay man wanting to take full advantage of adoption/surrogacy leave, my work commitment was questioned, “why would you want to take a year off work?” as I was the first man ever requesting time off with my child.”

Consultant Perinatal Psychologist at Parenthood in Mind, Julianne Boutaleb, suggests that one of the reasons for these challenges may be because it’s not recognised, expected or usualised in some workplaces for LGBTQ+ members of staff to be building families. 

Taking these challenges into consideration, Fertility Matters At Work emphasises that education, training, support and policy is how organisations will ensure they’re meeting diversity and inclusion objectives. 

Julianne continues: “Firstly, workplaces need to signal to a couple or individual that they expect their employees to go on to build a family. They can do this in a variety of ways, for example showcasing alternative family structures, appointing LGBTQ+ champions, allowing employees in the workplace to talk about their experiences.

“Secondly, it’s important that it is acknowledged that the route to parenthood can be much more complex and onerous for LGBTQ+ people. It may involve, for example, the need for overseas travel, extended periods abroad, plus legal and financial challenges, all of which may put extra pressure on LGBTQ+ employees. In addition, bringing up these highly personal issues with your manager could make someone feel intensely vulnerable. However, if it’s clear that management has an understanding and appreciation of LGBTQ+ family building, it will reduce the likelihood of employees feeling stressed or anxious about raising these issues with their managers. “

Also, organisations need to educate themselves on the alternative paths to parenthood and what they entail. There’s an assumption that IVF is the only route, and adoption, fostering, donor conception and surrogacy is often overlooked. If workplaces can educate themselves on this and the limitations that LGBTQ+ people face from the UK’s healthcare system, they will be better equipped to offer them the appropriate support.” 

Workplaces should foster an accepting culture, so members of this community feel comfortable seeking help. Workplaces should consider signposting relevant tailored support services for fertility issues, specifically for LGBTQ+ parents. 

Laura-Rose adds that support could be in the form of lunch and learns, not just for those in managerial positions but all staff members. Michael believes workplaces should also implement regular group meetings where minorities can speak up safely about issues they’re facing and share experiences

Becky Kearns, co-founder of Fertility Matters At Work, comments: 

Our work supporting intended parents through surrogacy has found that most work policies that talk about adoption often overlook the fact that adoptive leave is also the only legal guidance for those who have biological children via surrogacy arrangements. There is a stark absence of the term ‘Intended Parents’ from the majority of workplace policies, it’s as if it doesn’t exist and ultimately leaves people feeling isolated and unsupported on their family-building journey.”

“By ensuring this kind of support is accessible to all employees, businesses will be creating a psychologically safe work environment, whereby employees feel comfortable speaking up about their concerns and issues and feel confident that they will be provided with the support they need, when they need it. People want to see themselves and their experiences reflected in their place of work and this can be done in a variety of ways. As already outlined by Laura-Rose, inclusive language is so important, and in the absence of this people will feel excluded and will therefore be less likely to ask for support.

“Often the first place employees look for recognition and support is within workplace policy or guidance and so to cement this support even further, and to reassure employees that they’re entitled to it, HR policies should be reviewed and updated regularly to ensure they’re inclusive for all paths to parenthood, whether you’re a non-birthing or birthing parent.”

According to research by Stonewall², more than half of LGBTQ+ community members suffer from depression, and 3 in 5 reported anxiety. Following this, Julianne adds that these mental health issues could potentially re-arise when on a parenthood journey, and therefore it’s vital that workplaces do more to help those in the LGBTQ+ feel seen and heard.

Becky continues: “We’re currently working with MP Nickie Aiken for a much-needed change in employment legislation to protect the rights of all people undergoing fertility treatment. There are currently no employment rights for workers who require fertility treatment as the only way to build their family, leading to many feeling the need to hide their treatment from their employer and facing fears relating to their employment.

“The second reading of the bill is set to take place on 25th November 2022, and we’re asking people to help make a difference by writing to their local MP asking for their support for this proposed legislation to offer the statutory right for time off for fertility treatment.” 

To learn more about what businesses can do to become truly inclusive, please visit Fertility Matters At Work: https://fertilitymattersatwork.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthood/

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